Epic Movie (PG)
Outline of the Movie Epic Movie is a 2007 American parody film directed and also written by both Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer and was produced by Paul Schiff. It was made in a similar style to Date Movie. The film mostly references The Chronicles of Narnia, The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, the "Harry Potter" series and Tim Burton's version of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Plot The film begins with a parody of The Da Vinci Code. Lucy finds that her adopted father, a museum curator, has been attacked by Silas. Before dying, he gives clues which lead her to a "Golden Ticket" in a vending machine candy bar. Edward lives at a Mexican monastery. Ignacio becomes enraged at Edward's displeasure at the living conditions and has him thrown out the window. On the way Edward grabs a Monks "Golden Ticket." Next the film introduces Susan. She is going to Namibia to meet her new adoptive parents. While she orders water, snakes come out and hijack the plane. Samuel L. Jackson pops up starts repeatedly saying "I have had it with these God damn snakes on this God damn plane!" and then throws Susan out of the plane so that she would be safe. Susan falls on Paris Hilton and finds her "Golden Ticket" in Paris' purse. Then the film introduces Peter, a mutant. He asks Mystique to come with him to the homecoming dance. Peter is bullied by Mystique's boyfriend, Wolverine and the Headmaster, Magneto. As Magneto wills a locker door to open and knock Peter to the ground, another student's "Golden Ticket" falls onto Peter's chest. All four meet up at Willy's Chocolate Factory. Willy reveals he plans to use them all as the 'special ingredient' in the treats which is actual human parts. In an effort to hide from the maniacal Willy, Lucy soon finds a wardrobe. On the other side, in the middle of a wintry forest, she finds Mr. Tumnus. He welcomes Lucy to Gnarnia. Feeling a burst of compassion, he manages to warn Lucy of the danger she is in. Edward follows Lucy to Gnarnia and meets the White Bi*ch. She convinces him to trap the other orphans and he can be the king of Gnarnia in her White Castle. All four main characters makes his or her way to Mr. Tumnus' house, where the orphans discover that they are all related to one another, and that the White Bi*ch killed their parents. They ally themselves with Harry Beaver, Tumnus' life partner. While this is occurring, Peter dreams that he is Superman, but in the dream he gets shot in the eye and falls off a building. Edward sneaks off to the White Bi*ch's castle. Despite realizing she intends evil, the White Bi*ch flashes Edward her br*asts, hypnotizing him into giving up the information on the orphans; he is then imprisoned. The White Bitch sends Silas after the trio; Tumnus sacrifices himself to ensure their safety. They end up meeting a graying Harry Potter, along with a balding Ron Weasley, and a pr*gnant Hermione Granger in Hogwarts. They all help Lucy, Susan, and Peter train for the war against the White Bitch. It's soon revealed she plans to create a new continent for her followers via a magic crystal; she acknowledges this is the same plot as Superman Returns. Edward escapes with the assistance of Captain Jack Swallows, only to find out later that it was a ruse as the Captain tricks needed intelligence out of Edward. Jack is then stabbed by the White Bi*ch as the crystal is lost in the ocean, putting the witch's plan in motion. Upon finishing their training, Lucy, Susan, and Peter, head to the camp of Aslo. Aslo agrees to help Edward in exchange for a fo*rsome and a Dutch oven. Managing to kill Silas while breaking Edward out, Aslo is slain by the White Bi*ch. Despite this, they have a pre-battle party, during which Peter and Mystique (who, along with the others who bullied Peter, had come to help the trio) make l*ve. Susan gets dr*nk and vomits everywhere; this so disgusts their new army that nobody shows up to help the orphans the next day. Despite the presence of a revenge-craving Jack on a giant wooden wheel, the four siblings are easily dispatched. Peter is about to be slain when he finds the remote from the movie Click, using the device's reality altering powers to save his siblings; they kill the army and erase the White Bi*ch's plot. Though the others attempt to kill her while frozen, Peter declares the White B*tch will receive a fair and just trial in the new Gnarnia. Moments later, Jack's wheel crushes her. The four are crowned the new rulers of the land: Peter the Wonderful, Susan the Just, Edward the Loyal, and Lucy the Dipsh*t. Tumnus then shows up; he is still recovering from his battle with Silas. Decades later, the four now elderly rulers find the way home and stumble through. They appear moments after they had left, now young again. Borat congratulates them on a happy ending; the four are then smashed to death by Jack's wheel, with Borat following with "NOT!" before smacking his ba*ckside at the audience. Cast Actor/Actress Role/Parody Of Movie/TV Show Kal Penn Edward Peervertski The Chronicles of Narnia/Nacho Libre/Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle Adam Cambell Peter Pervertski/Superman The Chronicles Of Narnia/Superman Returns/X-men Faune A. Chambers Susan Pervertski The Chronicles Of Narnia/Snakes on a Plane Jayma Mays Lucy Pervertski The Chronicles of Narnia/The Da Vinci Code Jennifer Coolidge The White B*ich of Gnarnia The Chronicles of Narnia/The American Pie Tony Cox Blink The Chronicles Of Narnia Hector Jimenez Mr. Tummus/Tony Fauntana The Chronicles of Narnia/Scarface/MTV Cribs Jareb Dauplaise Nacho Nacho Livre Chrispin Glover Willy Charlie and the Chocolate Factory Darel Hammond Captain Jack Swallows Pirates of the Carribbean film series Carmen Electra Mystique X-Men triology im Piddock Magneto X-Men triology Kevin Hart Silas The Da Vinci Code Fred Willard Aslo The Chronicles of Narnia David Carradine The Curator The Da Vinci Code Katt Williams Harry Beaver The Chroicles of Narnia and Bell Canada reference in scene with PDA Danny Jacobs Borat Sagdiyev Borat Nick Steele Lead Archer The Chroicles of Narnia Gregory Jbara Mel Gibbson David Lehre Ashton Kutcher Punk'd Kevin McDonald Harry Potter Harry Potter series george Alvarez Ron Weasley harry Potter series Christa Flanagan Hermione Granger Harry Potter series Ala Petrou Paris Hilton James Walker. Sr. Samuel L. Jackson Snakes on a Plane Parodies The Da Vinci Code-The beginning of the movie/ Lucy Pervertski/Silas/The Curator. Nacho Libre/Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle-Edward Pervertski. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory-Willy and the Oompa Loompas/The "Golden Tickets". Snakes on a Plane-Susan Pervertski/the plane she's on/Samuel L. Jackson The Chronicles of Narnia-The Pervertskis/The White Bitch of Gnarnia/Bink/Mr. Tumnus/Aslo/Harry Beaver/Lead Archer. Superman Returns/X-Men-Peter Pervertski X-Men-Mystique/Magneto/Wolverine/Rogue/Cyclops/Magneto/Storm Click - The remote control. Harold and Kumar/Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle - The White Castle/Tony Cox's final revenge. Star Wars - Chewbacca and Stormtroopers cameo appearances. Pirates of the Caribbean - Jack Swallows and Davy Jones mask. Borat - Borat's brief cameo. Harry Beaver - The talking beaver. Quantum of Solace - James Bond's final appearance. Category:Parody Category:PG Category:Comedy Category:Movie